The wideness of mercy...

I'm in a snowy place! I'd forgotten what it was like to hear the crunch of snow, and smell it in the air. And feel the crispness of it underfoot. It is beautiful - and pristine. I had a funny flashback experiece when I saw a half eaten apple tucked in a drift - shades of my brother leaving the apples from his lunch in a drift in Winnipeg, somehow thinking that they would vanish with the snow. Gotcha.

As I write this, I am just in from lunch at ENC with a lovely professor who is studying issues of identity - what a lovely and hospitable man. We chatted for ages, and talked especially about the appeal of anabaptism and the ideas of practicing peculiarity in community - it was good to think like that. He's writing his dissertation and drawing on Yoder, who I am fond of. I am knackered - woke up at 3am Boston time - argh. So - in a while I'll keep reading - I brought tonnes of books with me to get on with, in the meantime, I've got the news on and as I write there is a jury delivering a verdit on a man - whether to kill him or not. What a terrible, terrible thing. They have settled on 34 years without parole, I am glad.

It has been lovely to hear from people in the comments - thanks! And to hear such empathy! Why do we put ourselves through all this? Anyway, I am having fun thinking, [sometimes I don't] - and I can almost feel my brain stretching within me. It is so hard to keep in touch, isn't it? We are all stretched - but I hope that we are all also able to be holy in our learning to be un-busy.

Umm - apart from that not a lot else to say. Have been thinking about the diversity and plurality of holiness and what that means - and how to live widely and hopefully. Have also been thinking about why I am not keen on the church growth movement as marketing the church - and what it means to be part of an alive and organic community - I hope that I can figure things out soon. Also been thinking about weed - and its effects - and how terrible its impact is on the lives of people I love - and the abuse of alcohol and the terrible price paid by and for people who wrestle with that addiction. So - my brain is full!! Reading Rowan Williams, Tokens of Faith, and Diary of a Country priest, both of which are incredibly challenging. Also reading Coupland's 'The Gum thief'. I could swear he's in my head sometimes!

A good thing here: the trees are labelled - it is well cool, cause I can see what things are! I love it. I wish I knew them better at home - maybe it's a learning I can make.

So - not much else.... I love the title of Pinnock's book: A Wideness in God's Mercy - I would like to adopt it as a hermeneutic.

% of time blogging?

The thing about books is that there are so many of them, I have an ever expanding shelf of 'to read' - I wouldn't feel so bad except that most of them are PhD related, and some of them are in the mental category of, hmm. Do I really want to read this? Anyway, several of them are compelling - which is good. So I've taken to reading the really interesting ones as a reward for tacking the nightmare ones. And then rewarding myself for reading them as a reward by reading some Wendell Berry poems. That works a little.

Anyway, sorry if it appears that my life has shrunk. It probably has. To a Phd size. I feel pretty boring about that.

We had the funny experience of trying to give percentage values to our work today. I realised with a lot of gratification that: (a) I am in the position of having jobs (2 of them in fact) (b) both are ones where I can legitimately put 'talking, thinking, reading, visiting' down as acts that merit something other than a reprimand (c) I have the luxury of setting my own schedule and trying to live up to it. That is good. [I'm not sure where facebook/blogging fits in all that so I do it out of hours, but I would argue that for some people it may in fact be critical for their work - thoughts?] However, the funniest part was trying to get a percentage. For instance - do I assume that my working week is in fact below 40 hours. It's not. Never has been. Do I factor in term time (where it can be CRAZY albeit not this term) - or non term time - where it is busy, but paced...? Since I'm seconded from the college for pastoring, do I count that as work? You begin to see the dilemma - Anyway, it amused me for a time. [for those of you who know my relationship with maths it will send you into hilarity!]

I'm currently trying to think about some lectures, sermons, and my classes, and am discovering that all of them are morphing in my brain, so I should probably head home. I've stayed longer than I intended to tonight -

Still can't decide about facebook. Or mobiles. Or housephones. Terry Eagleton, at Manchester University - apparently can only be contacted by post. I wonder what difference that would make to my life? or yours. Also, I was very sad that the last speaker of a northern language died this last week. (her obit's in the economist). Truly tragic.

Quarterly blogs - does anyone read this?

Not that it matters, I guess.

Anyway, it's February already, and I am way too behind. Lots of things to think about - am on a course with Manchester Met Uni on leadership which I'm finding really interesting. Quite fascintating the things that you discover about yourself. I've decided I quite like learning. Am not a great fan of group work, but process a lot out loud (translation: verbally) but also need SPACE. I've got a strange affair going on with Facebook. Not sure whether I like it, or not. Feel very vulnerable 'd brower latz has moved! at 21.06' kind of scary - and not sure whether or not I need to know everything about everyone else... Anyway, I deactivated my account, then reactivated it... then - well, you see.

Listening to Foo Fighters at the moment [courtesy of Matt Norris] and taking a brief break from reading The Bottom Billion which I'm finding a little frustrating. Yes, it's for my PhD. No, I'm not sure it's that helpful. But I need to start writing... soon. I find that the evening (when it's silent here) is conducive to writing - except that I no longer appear to be a 24 hour person - that is, if I get up at 7 I want to do nothing in the evening, but chill out and go to bed. At home, awaits Animal, Vegetable, Miracle which I'm loving and would LIKE to read, but instead I'm here. Trying to motivate myself [and simultaneously avoid the Tunnock's caramel wafer which is in my drawer as a sugar-low-remedy. I'm not having a sugar low, but it is HONESTLY calling to me!].

Other things that are happening to me: i'm thinking alot about intimacy in community. Watching things going on that are brutal in some of my loved ones' lives. Learning that sometimes I'm very rude - generally not on purpose - or very abrupt. And, rediscovering that if one bit of life is out of kilter, everything is. Which sucks, since often at least one bit is! Thinking about Italian Spinone dogs [i'd like one]. Thinking about time - and when and how I lost control of it. Struggling to figure out which way to go next. Wrestling with BIG questions for church [which way now, why, who, when?] and trying to think theologically and not just intuitively.

Someday I'll write about the revelations I've been having and the learnings I've made...:-)