publicly 'naked' :-)

Well, today I had the real version of those dreams where you are in your class teaching naked. Though fully clothed (phew!) I arrived this morning blissfully aware that Geordan was teaching... only to be disabused of the notion at twenty-to nine... when the class starts at quarter to!! Yikes. Nightmare. Quick run across, printed off old notes, ran back to teach - LIKE A WAKING BAD DREAM!! Pretty hilarious though!

Been reading Julian Barnes' latest - Arthur and George. I am a fan, and this is so well written I can sense the doom approaching - quite thought provoking really - about assumptions of 'place' and how you fit in (or not). This subject has come up quite often of late - partly because of the contrast between being a british citizen (which I am), having a strange accent (also true) and never knowing quite where you belong. I think that may be a common experience - even for those whose cultural identity if more solid, but it can be disconcerting to realise - all over again - that acceptance is only so deep. I actually find that in some places being 'not english' gives me an entry point - and the almost sub-concious adjustment of my accent is quite revealing (I realise that more and more)... so I sound queen like in the US, half-british in a lot of countries, and quite Canadian on the Newbank estate in Longsight.

Yesterday it was bitter out, and Lynn and I were trawling the estate for our feasability study... (so far demonstating exactly what we knew - there is a need to care for children, teens are ignored, and adults are scared). While there though I had the pleasure of seeing on of our 'lads'. Does anyone remember Kyle? He's just 'out' and trying to 'sort himself out' - his brother and their friend are still inside - Kyle has always been lovely [to us] - and was one of the 'baker boys' - cornflake pie and custard. I did the study with him, and he told me that 'the lads need something, you know, something to keep them out of trouble.' It was such a joy to see him - I think that God willing, Kyle could one day be a minister. I hope for him.

The Nutcracker & the rest

The days rush by. It is a beautiful, crisp spring day, the crocuses are out... snow-drops are coming, and the back of winter seems to be broken (not the nicest expression ever, as I think about it!). Still, I love days like this.

A quick review of life:

Last night Helen & I went to the ballet - The Nutcracker, by Grigorovich, danced beautifully by a Moldovan company. It was truly beautiful- the strength & grace of the dancers was moving - and the perfect syncronisation of the pairs was incredible. It made me think a lot about the discipline that leads to instances of grace - the latter only possible because of the former.

This is a week for going out - on Tuesday my mum (ably assisted by dad) made a delicious meal - chicken breast en crout, asparagas spears, new potatoes, harvard beets, oh my, the table was groaning!! There was an interesting group there: Pete & Sue, Davide & Tanya, Andrew & I, mum and dad - and we talked for hours about all kinds of things - especially grace & holiness, and the communit(ies) of faith that we are a part of. It was really healthy to just spend time talking.

And... let me see - I've finished Orpan's Snow. And am reading Jon Snow's autobiography - he is a REALLY travelled and quite fascinating man. He keeps being rather brutally honest about the UK/US/West complicity and duplicity in world affairs going badly wrong... I'm re-reading The Fionavar Tapestry and, inspired by my brother am also rereading Augustine's Confessions. I am also grappling with Living Prayer - by Metropolitan Anthony. I can hardly read it - it convicts me, moves me, challenges me, so.

My fingers are sore today, so I imagine the spelling in this is all crook - but we've been back lead climbing. AND, I've progressed to 5+ on the top rope. Yesterday I made one by using my head to wedge myself in a corner while I blindly groped around behind me with my right foot. Oh for the video!

I can't think of much else of interest really... The classes have been going well (I think) - Geordan has been team teaching in Church History and yesterday was his first session. I loved it. It was really lovely to learn... and - the spiritual formation class is really making people struggle - which is also great (I think!). I baby-sat God-daughter Katie last week, she was ill, and I felt really sorry for her. I changed her nappy but there were no other clothes out for her, and I didn't fancy rooting around for some, so I left her in her vest,and she just curled up and fell asleep in my arms. She is deceptive looking, because she is actually VERY heavy :-) But is was a nice feeling - like she trusted me or something.

Oh - I almost forgot - for those friends who use this to keep track of our house too!! The (slightly crooked) homemade shelves are up - and one set left to go, then the bathroom will be DONE. Hoorah!

And - lastly, for those of you who know that Andrew and I got slightly addicted to LOST... I have had it really. What the HECK is that ending about?!

Oh the Places you can go!

I went for a wonderful walk along the Rhine this last weekend- crisp, clear air. I was trying to skip stones (probably not possible on a frozen eddie, but still, you never know), and then the local swan population came my way. They are really beautiful birds, so gracious (once, my dad was attacked by a swan, and we realised that grace & beauty don't necessarily equate with pleasant!). It was good to clear my head, and be outside, just breathing. I sometimes think we don't do that very much.

Term has started, and that means that rhythms of life can begin again - climbing (still at 5+ level, but I climbed a wall today so hard and my arms were so pumped that I was actually in pain from it)... meals with friends... teaching. This term I'm team teaching Church History (from the pre-reformers to now... quite a lot of scope for up-rooting preconceptions dear to students' hearts! :-)) and Spiritual Formation. The latter is going to be the challenge - after setting the basis for growth, the students (and I'm accompanying them) are going to be engaged in practices of the church - and THAT I think will be hugely stretching for us all.

Heather & I had time together in the airport yesterday, which was a great ministry to me - I hope also to her. We talked a lot about prayer, and crucifiction. I think that at times I've been prone to underestimate the need for prayer, & have been shy about it - but the more I grapple with life, & depression, & the universe, & church, the more I realise that somehow the discipline -the breathing of prayer - the unceasing of prayer, is a desperate need for me, for us.

Also been re-reading the orthodox prayer poems I printed from the blog 'Now & Ever' (from Matt F's site).... Brilliantly woven expressions of love & prayer. I hope that reading them will mean I absorb them into my soul...

Finally - various up-dates:
the bathroom
- nearly done...
Andrew's bike
-nearly stolen (he stopped them in the final clip of the chain!)
reading - finished L'Engle, started Orhan Patuk, Emerging Church...
music for some reason I love the Gorrilaz right now, can't stop playing it... & Gonzalez... & Avro Part (totally subjective, totally based on mood)
PhD paper Still working on it!