Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Addictions

I found out yesterday that I officially got my PhD - it's hard to describe how much relief I feel. So - having gotten up at twenty-past six and into college incredibly early for the last two weeks - I am now up ridiculously late, watching Westwing - season 4, back-to-back, curled up on the sofa - [yes, sofa - we sold the settle, accidentally, for 99pence. My brother says we're lucky that we didn't have to pay someone... but still, our first foray into e-bay selling verdict: Not good.]

It feels kind of nice. No little eyes peering over my shoulder to look at what I'm reading, no little voice in my head saying, 'you really should be doing something else...!' IT FEELS GOOD.

Of course, when I have to get up tomorrow, I'll be tired, hungry, and I'll ask myself 'why?'...

Various other things - I've been playing squash - to my own rules, I've discovered! Am trying to learn the real ones, but when I play it my way I win! I've been reading, thinking, working, praying, hoping...

Trying to think in new ways, rediscover old ones. I've been thinking a lot about Nazarene-dom. Our guide-lines, covenants, codes...my personal reactions and responses. I've been thinking about sacraments - about my understanding of the body and blood; the baptismal waters. Thinking about what it means to be representative - democratic, efficient. I taught Polity and Practice in the Church, and found myself re-exploring what it means to be a Nazarene - and asking myself what my understanding was, and what the latitude is - how flexible, inflexible, how wide, broad, how...? Anyway, troubling, because I want to have complete and utter integrity - and yet, have so many ideas that seem out-of-conventional-step.

Longsight continues to be such a blessing - sounds really cheesy. Such a trauma, beautiful, messy, wonderful, crazy, zany... anyway, when I think about it in the round - I think God's revealing God-self amongst us - like incarnation, only - US... but I also think - where next? How next? Where do we go from here?

SO - that's about all - I need to go to bed.

1 Comments:

Blogger Stephen said...

Apparently, it's time to come to CA for a visit, and bring your husband with you this time!

Congrats! So proud of you, and rejoicing with you from around the globe at your amazing accomplishment, and all the grace that was a part of helping it happen!

5:09 am  

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