time, rage, life, love

So - I'm here in the office at just-past-midnight, waiting to go and get Andrew from the train - he's been in Durham for the day...

I've been entertaining myself with (in order of appearance) un-cluttering my in-box, facebook, Masterchef on BBC iplayer (thanks Beeb), and now TED.

The day didn't begin so well for me, since I heard a report on the Arctic sea having no ice in the summers and the only comment in the 06.30 bulletin was that it would be GOOD FOR SHIPPING. ?!*&?"! WHAT?? Good for shipping?? What about the sea levels? What about the big, wide, open, gaping blue sea that will help warm us up? Anyway, I find the news quite overwhelming a lot of the time, which is why I listen and don't watch it - at least my brain isn't branded for hours...

Apart from that, caved in tonight and opted for Pizza - gooey, hot, greasy mass - now sitting heavily...

Books these days are random. I've still not had my viva - it's a long, long story, longer, longer process... fearfully frightening, well, well, well. (unrepentant captain beefheart reference there for the uninitiated).

TED is something I've enjoyed watching for a while http://www.ted.com which is amazing - lots of things to watch/hear... I love that I can stretch outside of my comfort zones. Currently indulging myself by listening to Vusi Mahlasela... amazing.

Allotment is in need to tlc right now - hopefully there tomorrow - alongside parties - Christenings... graduations... harvests...birthdays...

Longsight is also in a hope-full but challenging place right now - we're crammed full on a Sunday - and thankful for the sense of love... But a lot is messy too - and often I've become sucked in... the challenge of creating goodness, movement, enabling freedom not chains, not enabling dependency... Man. Hard.

Also, it's difficult not to get drawn in BIG STYLE to some of the tensions of keeping the wheels on the road... or of pastoralia... So much of me loves people and wants to be the shepherd/nurturer... But so much of me needs some kind of act of courage/newness/change/fresh-thinking to feel that I'm firing on all cylinders - So, I ask myself, do I need to stay rooted and grow wise... or travel on and grow wise?

So - we're starting our FEAST again soon - a creative type of time and space, in the evenings twice a month- I'm hopeful that it will be a place of renewal, hope, grace and dynamism... maybe even beauty, freedom and formation.

The best to last: My wonderful godly Grandpa is here - I am trying to spend as much time with him as I possibly can. It is hard to describe how special he is. He turns 90 on the 5th December - he is forward thinking, grace-ful, a story-teller. He is one of the four reasons I didn't get married until in my 30s. I was waiting for someone like him. (the other three are my dad, the doc and my brother). My Grandpa has prayed for me everyday for the last 39 years of my life. He moves me. On Sunday in our Word and Table service my husband asked Grandpa to pray the intercessory prayers. The only way I can describe those moments are as liminal. A thin space where the prayers and scripture reading of 89 years came together into a prayer of scriptural proportions and a deep and sustaining love - rooted in earth and in us and in life. He is so loved. Be loved.

so

It's been a while since I've written anything - there's been a lot happening in some ways - in others, same ol'

I'm at the office ridiculously late because I'm collecting andrew from the train at 12.55 (last time he'll book that one I hope!?!) and I had a sneaking suspicion that if I went home I'd crawl into bed and not wake up...!

So - been clearing the decks here a little - lots of e-mails, bits and bobs to do.

Impressions of life

My PhD viva is still an age away - but the closer it gets the more terror I feel

spent a week in the states at Point Loma Nazarene University - filled with the dilemma (for example) of preaching about God's longing for renewal of all the earth, all people - and then FLEW. hmm. need to think hard about eco-anything.

But -loved the time there - really touched by the people I met... and the beauty of the place is extraordinary -

I saw HUMMINGBIRDS playing!

The allotment is steady as she goes at the moment - I am hoping we'll get to go there tomorrow... dig, frame, plant, tidy, weed, harvest... lots on the 'to do' list

Reading lots of rubbish as well as swotting. Favourite read of the moment is The Word Militant by Brueggemann. Least Favourite, Reason, Ridiculre and Religion.

Have spent some time with great friends - Steve and Jo, Jme G and Michelle, Becky, Mary, Mark, Heather and Gary... all states based...

Not spend enough time with anyone else!

Other things that are going on - Andrew's lovely Grand-dad, one of the most thoroughly good people I've ever met died last week. His funeral is next Tuesday - May his memory be eternal.