Scootching
If you've ever read Anne Lamott, you'll be familiar with this concept of creeping your way towards things... somewhat slowly, and sometimes hopefully, sometimes not so much of the hopeful.
Well, today has been scootching for me. 1000 rubbish words that at the moment I can't even bring myself to read back, and a feeling of hollowness that echoes every now-and-then, and way deep inside, a feeble little voice saying, 'oh help' and various other things.
Anyway, in no particular order the things I've been thinking about:
My favourite:
Seth to Andrew: tell me a noun
Andrew: do you know what a noun is?
S: a person, place or thing
A: what about an adverb?
S: hmm. let me ask my mom. (exits, returns)
S: an adverb has a LY, so, like for CHEESE it would be LYCHEESE... !!!
It was hilarious. What a lovely wee guy. Shaw (his older brother) is a wee bit more quiet, but also mischievous, and full of the joy of life - great kids. It seems to me, that great kids often reflect great parents. hmm.
Let's see: not much else. I find the elections interesting. Levenshulme (where we live) is Lib Dem. It was interesting (to me) that the Local Green party had more votes than the conservatives. There is an enormous local interest in recycling, green electricity, and so on.
Then, there's Scotland. SNP with the majority. The reason I find it so interesting is that part of me thinks that borders/nationalism are part of a powerful and compelling imaginative philosophy at work, that typically divides, destroys and creates enormous problems. (proof: the world). On the other hand, change, a renewal, the possibility of new ways for a nation, the hope that brings is also powerful. I don't know about Scots-English relations - I find racism both ways offensive, and think that there's a lot of it, but I also don't know what (other than grace) will change that. Sometimes the church seems to echo it.
My own feelings towards national identity are complicated (though probably not interesting). I never introduce myself as English (though I am often identified that way and I am 'from England') but I am British -: though not only British. I strongly identify with Europe, but I am not only European. [I have friends who do not resemble at all the nations that they come from, only the nations that they have become from (if you see what I mean) and often think about this issue.] There are most definitely parts of me that are 'Canuck' - but, I have lived here for: (I can hardly believe this!) 27 years. I think I am more here than there, but: prairies, 'the farm', hockey, -30 temperatures, big sky, french immersion have most definitely shaped me too...
Well, today has been scootching for me. 1000 rubbish words that at the moment I can't even bring myself to read back, and a feeling of hollowness that echoes every now-and-then, and way deep inside, a feeble little voice saying, 'oh help' and various other things.
Anyway, in no particular order the things I've been thinking about:
- friendship
- sweet-peas
- God-ness
- messy lives
- class systems :-)
My favourite:
Seth to Andrew: tell me a noun
Andrew: do you know what a noun is?
S: a person, place or thing
A: what about an adverb?
S: hmm. let me ask my mom. (exits, returns)
S: an adverb has a LY, so, like for CHEESE it would be LYCHEESE... !!!
It was hilarious. What a lovely wee guy. Shaw (his older brother) is a wee bit more quiet, but also mischievous, and full of the joy of life - great kids. It seems to me, that great kids often reflect great parents. hmm.
Let's see: not much else. I find the elections interesting. Levenshulme (where we live) is Lib Dem. It was interesting (to me) that the Local Green party had more votes than the conservatives. There is an enormous local interest in recycling, green electricity, and so on.
Then, there's Scotland. SNP with the majority. The reason I find it so interesting is that part of me thinks that borders/nationalism are part of a powerful and compelling imaginative philosophy at work, that typically divides, destroys and creates enormous problems. (proof: the world). On the other hand, change, a renewal, the possibility of new ways for a nation, the hope that brings is also powerful. I don't know about Scots-English relations - I find racism both ways offensive, and think that there's a lot of it, but I also don't know what (other than grace) will change that. Sometimes the church seems to echo it.
My own feelings towards national identity are complicated (though probably not interesting). I never introduce myself as English (though I am often identified that way and I am 'from England') but I am British -: though not only British. I strongly identify with Europe, but I am not only European. [I have friends who do not resemble at all the nations that they come from, only the nations that they have become from (if you see what I mean) and often think about this issue.] There are most definitely parts of me that are 'Canuck' - but, I have lived here for: (I can hardly believe this!) 27 years. I think I am more here than there, but: prairies, 'the farm', hockey, -30 temperatures, big sky, french immersion have most definitely shaped me too...
posted by erdreid at 18:37
2 Comments:
I think I know what you mean about identity, maybe, just a little bit - it's strange to me to think I only lived in Canada for eight years, but there are times when I feel like I can smell snow on the wind (no-one else ever can, that makes me sad) or I'm in the middle of the city and it just feels like it's *squeezing* me and I need to be somewhere that I can see a sunset; then I miss mountains and praries, real open spaces. Is it fair to say that dual-nationality is a blessing and a curse? That it makes you see more about each place, but also struggle to call either of them entirely home?
I don't really know, I'm still a kid :) but I do with I liked rain more; that would help. I miss the sun, and I feel like nothing is ever *really* dry in this country.
Annnnyway, long pointless comment.
Not pointless at all. I SO know what you mean about the smells. Just the other day I smelled something in the air that was distinctly Canadian - much more 'Canada' than 'England'. When I go back to visit, the smell of the air and land is one of the things that connects me most strongly to my native land and makes me miss it.
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